driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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