I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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