And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
