you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
