oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Rumble strips road head = magical
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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