Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
