dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
