This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
