: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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