you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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