dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
