Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
