i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
