Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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