im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
