I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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