Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
