I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
