Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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