someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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