Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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