Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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