3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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