Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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