Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
