We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
