she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
