bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We got so high we made milksteak
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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