just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
