Sry I called you an 8
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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