Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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