Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
