Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
