i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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