I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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