so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
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She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
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I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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