i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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