So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
