Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
