I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
