ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
