So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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