he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
