Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
