Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
