I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
