dude i'm inner monologue high
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
