Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
