i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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