Nicole vs. Life
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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