Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
