why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
