yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
