i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
