i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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