He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
My vagina is officially offended.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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