Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Randomize
