He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just pee around me
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
