he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
It's just like the Real World with babies
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
