I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
