The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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