____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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