i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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