There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
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